Your husband has been unfaithful.

You find yourself fearful you will never get over the horror you are experiencing now. You are asking whether you will actually be able to heal the broken pieces of your life. You need to understand how to survive an affair.

I understand.

You really have to understand, though, there is hope for your marriage. Many married couples have gone through what you are currently undergoing --- and have lived through it. You, too,can be taught how to survive an affair.

You need to realize, however, that making it through an affair and preserving your marriage doesn't start off by getting your mate to turn to you and express regret and instantly become entirely open and truthful with you. That would be great, but it really won't work like that. That should, however, come eventually.

Here is some important guidance from Dr. Frank Gunzburg, Ph.D, a cognitive behavioral doctor and therapist. Dr. Gunzburg has worked with over 15,000 married couples over the last thirty five years of his practice. I think his method is the most effective (and quickest) strategy to reconstruct your self-esteem and also to inevitably preserve your marriage.

Many people, therapists included, simply do not recognize that getting stronger after cheating requires that you follow specific steps in a certain order. Whenever you choose not to take these steps in the proper sequence, your odds of preserving your marriage following an affair are tremendously diminished.

Studies point out that partners who discuss the details of the affair remain together for a longer period than couples who never do.

Dr. Gunzburg has taken this approach a step farther. As an alternative to just advising you to talk over the particulars, he recommends an outline that allows you to understand how and when this conversation really should take place. In doing so, he is actually showing you several valuable procedures about how to survive an affair.

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